If you give me a cookie, I’ll give you a spider. Make it chocolate
chip, and I’ll make it a Black Widow. Add a gallon of milk, and
I’ll let you name her. Throw in a La-Z-Boy and floor lamp, and I’ll
include a leaf. Make no mistake, it’s the most beautiful leaf
anyone’s ever seen. I’ll also give you a knife. Tiya will tire of you
and want to come home to me. She’ll spin webs over your eyelids
and christen you her cocoon. Hence, the knife. But make no
mistake: it will be the most beautiful cocoon anyone’s ever seen.
I baked a cake and call it The Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria.
Then I built a boat and named it Red Velvet.
The swirly cursive words on my cake say, Bon Voyage. Maiden Voyages are so exciting!
The skipper of my boat wears a party hat and yells at the wind, “Stop blowing! I can’t light
the damn candles!”